Dear Boy

Dear Boy

There are many things that I want to tell you, things that you deserve to know, but there are reasons why I can't. Maybe it's insecurities; maybe just my own stupidity. I want you to know that there are areas of my life that I'm not ready to share with you yet. Please don't think you did anything wrong. You didn't.

I want you to know that I am a girl. That regardless of how often you tell me that I am beautiful, sometimes I'll think otherwise. I am insecure in myself, it's not because of you. Though you want to, you can't fix it. I want you to know that I have a fear of eating in front of people. I'm not just starving myself. I don't like social situations. If I act shy around your friends, or pull away, it's not that I don't like them, I'm wondering if they like me.

I want you to know that I'm not always as strong as I act. I cry myself to sleep at night, and I don't always know why. It's silly I know. I don't like drawing attention to myself, because I don't know if I can handle what people think. So if I don't kiss you in public, don't take it personally. I want you to think that I can take care of myself, but I want you to understand that deep down I need to know that you're there too.I want you to know that I'm okay. That you didn't cause of any of this, but at the same time, you might not be able to fix it either. I don't want you to worry about me. It hurts to think that you might.

Most of all I want you to know that even though there's some baggage that comes with me, I'm going to give this all that I can. I'm in it for the long haul if you are. But please don't worry about me. I'm ok. I just wanted you to know.

Love Girl.