Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Timing

You look for his screen name, the moment you sign online, every time the phone rings, you look for his name on the caller id before answering. Knowing he'll be at the next group event, puts a smile on your face, and a simple hello erases a bad day. You think about him constantly, your friends have seen every picture, and your co-workers know his life story. He's your first thought in the morning, and the last one before you go to bed. But he's just a friend. Your confident in good times and bad, the one who holds your hair back after too much to drink at a party, and the one helping you sort out high school's drama. To him you're the nice girl he hangs out with from time to time, to you he's everything. You want to cross the line, but the ball is still in his court.

How do you know when the moment is right? If you find that moment, how do you know that this will be worth risking your friendship? Is it better to stay comfortable and safe in friendship, or jump into the unknown territory of a relationship? Could you live without him in your life, will he be erased when the next cute guy comes along? Picture your life 30 years from now: is he the one holding your hand, as you head home to your empty house, after leaving the oldest at university... or the guy sitting across from you discussing Johnson's math class at your high school reunion.

There may never be a right moment. You have to stop asking questions and just do it. The moment you decide to put everything on the line and just ask. Knowing you could ruin your friendship, but hoping that it will be worth it this time, that's the right moment.