A Year of Changes

I am sitting here 'dog-sitting' Nic's dog who is asleep and watching the hockey game and I thought to myself, "what a perfect blogging opportunity this is". So there you go.. for the first time in almost three months you're going to get an update. Originally I wanted to write this blog on my birthday but I've been crazy busy this week so although it revolves around 'being a year older and wiser' it's a few days late.

A year ago if you had asked me what I wanted for my birthday I would have replied, without a doubt "him back"- him being Mark. I also would have asked to be living elsewhere, and of course for other small materialistic things. When faced with the same question this year I didn't have an answer for anybody. Oh how frustrated they all were with me! Funny how much difference a year makes.

Turning 18 was a fairly big deal. Of course there was the obvious factors such as legally being able to drink. But turning 18 wasn't about that for me. In fact this weekend is my first official weekend as an adult and I can honestly say that in the past week I haven't had a single drop of alcohol. Not to say that I won't in the future but it hasn't been a priority. As soon as the clock struck 12 to signal the end of sunday and the beginning of monday I of course changed my age on a few websites but the first thing I did as an adult was apply for my own air miles card. Small and insignificant but being able to do that was a big deal for me.

Over the past year I've learned to take notice of the small things. I've always been relatively low maintainence but in the back of my mind kept high expectations for myself and those around me. Overcoming this is one of my biggest accomplishments. I realized that I didn't need a guy in my life after a messy break up with Mark then a failed attempt at rekindling a jr. high relationship. I was perfectly content to do things like go and swing at the park talking with my girls. Of course this didn't last long as I soon begun my long persuit of Nic.

I learned that it was more important to take the time (and trust me it was a fair bit of time for two high school students) to really get to know Nic before taking that step into a relationship again. I knew from the first day that I met him that one day I would get to call him mine - but it took 108 days (not that I was counting) for that day to come. If I could go back in time, I would gladly repeat every one of those days and I would do things in the exact same order. Taking the time to notice and appreciate the little things, that were done as friends that most people want in a relationship and just enjoying each others company. A lesson I wish I could have learned earlier as the reward has been nothing short of amazing.

I have learned that it's okay to step out of my comfort zone and put myself out there. I still struggle daily with worrying too much in social situations but I've branched out more this year. Attending school events was a small part of that in the beginning and now in 5 days I will be boarding a plan with over 3 dozen of my classmates and teachers. If someone had suggested the trip to me a year ago I would have flat out refused because I did not want to meet new people.

Originally I refused to move out of my parents home until I could afford a mortgage but I have slowly come to realize that no one can at 18 and have come to peace with the idea of renting. At 16/17 I wanted nothing more than to move out and although the feeling is still stronger I've realized that it will be a huge commitment and that I'm not in as big of a hurry as I once was. I do not plan to move out until the fall at the earliest but it's another one of those fun adult decisions.

There you have it... a relatively brief update on life in it's current state but an update non-the-less.