Something is missing

I am frustrated.
and this frustrates me.
as I try really hard not to let things get to me.
to go with the flow, roll with the punches and take things with a grain of salt.
but today I am frustrated.

I probably should just not be allowed to sit down and think.
because this never leads to anything good.
but today I did exactly that.
I lay out in the sun with my ipod and a book and tried to just have "me" time.
Which was quickly interuppted, as I was the "big" sister home for Destiny.
Who was very cute, and cut me up an apple and brought it outside with a rammekin of peanut butter.
(In tupperware, so that no Bee's would smell it and come bother me)

There are soo many things that I want to do with my life.
and I have known from a very young age exactly what they are.
I was talking about my childhood last night,
and how I use to make my sisters play endless hours of "daycare" with me.
If that isn't cool, then I don't know what is.
but finances are such a road block.

I feel like everytime I take a step forward,
something pushes me two steps back.
It doesn't matter how many "better" paying jobs I take on.
The money is never there.
The debt is never getting smaller.

I've put off school for two years,
knowing what I want to take but having too much debt to risk applying for student loans.
getting ahead with my finances, and getting into car accident after car accident.
or spending a year with inexplainable, never ending infections.
and I finally get my health under control and stop getting into accidents.
and we're in a freaking recession.

I know that I am not the only one.
that everyone is really struggling these days.
but I am frustrated.
and I try to have faith that it will all work out.
but maybe I'm looking too hard for security signs and missing them all together.

Refreshed.

Good bye nylons, blazers and high heels.
hello lulu's, reeboks and free workouts.
I seriously have THE best job ever.

As of Monday I am now a fitness coach training to be Assistant Manager for CURVES. So come and see me for your work out needs! Whether you want to lose, gain, tone or just stay fit. I've fallen in love with the 30 minute circuit, and you will too!

It's such a refreshing feeling to be at a job that actually makes me feel like I am helping people. Not to say that it wasn't satisfying to help women find a new bra every week of pregnancy. It was. But this is so much better, and on such a different level! I actually look forward to going to work every day, and I have such a good time. Plus, I get paid to work out. It doesn't really get any better than that.

Now, if I could just get car to sell.
Seriously, I've lowered it amost $5,000 and its been up for 4 months!

On a side note, for those of you who love to shop online...
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